Social security and more !

I am a software developer currently working in Chennnai, India. I heard few robbery cases in Chennai when I firstly stepped into this city. I never believed though as its a metro city and Chennai is known for safe City for families. But my assumption turned into water when I faced something horrible on the way to home around 9 pm at night. The place was near to my office and its not outside of city. I came out with my MacBook, iPhone and I had 2.5k INR money in my wallet and was walking towards home. It takes 15 mins to walk down the road, so I generally don't take cabs. The road were little dark and a truck was parked on the left side of the road. As soon as I came near the truck , one she-male came from the dark and started acting like he/she want to bless me. In India generally we give some small amount to them to show our kindness. I was searching for my wallet to give her Rs 20.00. As soon as I took out the Rs/-20 from wallet, he/she looked around and caught the wallet and told me to leave it otherwise it will be bad, I tried to release my hand and he/she was going violent. I was holding the notes coming out from wallet. He/She again shouted and released my hands from the notes. Suddenly he/she snatched all the notes and ran behind the truck. I suppose they were in gang, as I was alone in the road with all costly gadgets, so I had to forget what just happened and let her go. I walked out from there. Once I thought I will never give money to an she-males onwards, but who knows they were she-males or just using their role so that people take then easily when they ask money. Instead I promised to myself, I wont be walking at night alone in Chennai. There are lot of cases reported where girls got gang raped in few places across India. All robbed cases are not comparable to a rape case, where girls lost their life, but both the problem shows a similarity and that is taking advantage of others weaknesses. We well educated people should not blame the less educated for this. We plant the seeds everyday, at office desk, in tea stall, at night party, even sometimes with the sweetest and most beautiful lady in your eyes at home, your wife. #growup #sociallife #bestlife

The power of emotion

When I was a kid my dad used to bring chocolates for me and my brother. Now almost every kids are fond of chocolates. We being in a poor family not used to get very frequently but occasionally my dad used to bring one for us. We used to break it from the middle as we were two. Sometimes we used to fight for the longer piece and used to cry if we don't get. Then my dad used to console why to become emotional for a longer piece, A smaller piece also can be eaten for a longer time. I used to think and said ok I will eat slowly bit by bit and enjoy the same. Chocolate I left it in my childhood but some wrong learning I carried  forward. Which is, I used to think emotional means three things crying , tears and consolation.

Emotional is not a bad thing always. Its something which talks to our heart, flows through veins , drops its power in the blood. When all of this lasts in us,it creates an inner force.  When this inner force meets a positive goal we learn more and earn it. And when this inner force meets some bad  things we become useless. Robert Greene in his great book Mastery mentioned about "vocation". He said when we are child our inner force of knowing somethings is very clear to us. We grow up and we heard peoples daily anxiety.  It made that force fade, emotion gets de-attached and we never become who we are.

Emotions are more powerful than I ever thought. I was enjoying one Bengali band performance in Kolkata. Band culture in Bengal are increasing day be day. The songs frame are changing. When I first saw "Fossils" (A very popular Bengali band) I felt like lost in the crowd. It's so live when they are on stage . Anyway, Everybody was dancing. Great people says mind and body are in sync when we dance. The thrown lyrics was flowing through the veins and we were jumping to entertain us, them and the night. Suddenly I heard one of my friend was shouting for help. I went there and found one guy on the ground. He was dancing standing on a chair and suddenly felt from there. We cleared the crowd and pulled him out and sent him to our college hospital. Is that emotional what we felt for him or this one - He was hurt , his hand got broken, he was lying on the ground shouting the song sang by the band and crying ?

What the world wants from you?, Pune, 17th Dec 2015

When you can call your a matured ? When I was growing up in a village, the world hardly cared about I was too much into thinking whether the people felt bad in my behavior or not. I never imagined that opposite one might have multiple intention while even sharing the most of my caring corners with them. It has been long since I left my village I always feel about , but those days are becoming younger to youngest. When I hear the word maturity now , I only think when people call you , think you , discuss you and name you immature and you give only a blow in the wind , you qualify maturity.

Let's do a simplest mathematics. A is saying to B that B is immature . Yea of course I would like to be B. So I got A !=B . What a shame you need a mathematic to proof this? Do read Darwinism. He said we always select small variations which increases our ability to compete, hence we will try to meet the same sea sooner or later.

I always keep my head cool at office desk. If I am at foosball table putting only forces to my mans or walking around the cafeteria then some of my signals is running critically in my brain.Whatever, I was planning my day with my lead at my desk. Let me throw few words about  my lead. Very few people can work with him. The guy who shouts the most, pressure the more , can't tolerate inefficiency, won't pay for the half job. I respect him though cause I felt he is making me prepared though the streamlining of his processes instead of shortcuts. I found some mistakes in my work that day, I escalated it to him because some of those happened for his wrong guidance too. He shouted and kept his voice up till I left my office that day. Now the interesting thing is I was only guy who was working under him. So he has to talk back, to complete the project. I kept working like I always did. The every wrong thing I did in my project, I kept escalating and he thought that his project will not pass. He warned to the project manager. Project manager called me and told what the hell are you doing? Why you guys are fighting everyday, If you are guys are doing like this , then the project will fail. I told him I am just a developer , project can not only fail for a developer. Developer does not create much they just follow in a industry where I am working. He was silent and a bit unhappy. I said lets wait for the deadline , Then I will update you. The meeting over and I felt like my career too over with the meeting. I kept working and fighting and kept escalating my mistakes. I was very near to the deadline and working to get it done. I worked over the weekend , over the night and over my lead's hopeless eyes.

The conclusion: I delivered the project before the deadline in the production . clients are flooding the emails appreciating my works. My lead nominated me for a performance award.

Under the line: It was the first project of my career and I never wanted to fail it. I kept fighting with my lead because one good thing about him is when he will stay cool he won't comment about my work , he feels lazy to watch over and when he shouts, he criticizes with a lot of solutions and a lot of angry blinks. I just ignored the angry blinks and took the solution in my bag.I work in a different team now and whenever I meet my lead he hugs me like a best friend ever.

Moral: Your talent opens the first door and streamlining of processes by a good mentor opens the following doors.

An unparalleled hero indeed, Chennai, 30 May 2013

I was feeling damn sleepy with holding the news paper in a morning. Every day I don’t want to wake up, but I wake up, I don’t want to read the news paper , but I do read the news paper and then I again want to sleep but I can’t. This was the saddest part of my life, but suddenly something happened inside me, like a fire was fired inside. A bold headline “Rituparno ghosh is no more”.  It’s not like I did cry for him, or I was trapped in a deep emotion and thought about him till my cheek met my pillow at night.  But I thought I should share my views about him or her. I neither worked with him nor know him from very close. I only saw him through his films, so I here talked for his films. 


I won’t say Bengali film didn’t breath before hearing the sing of Rituparno ghosh; Bengali film industry has got the taste of many heroes. We had Satyajit roy, we had Uttam Kumar and many more. But rather I would say he was one who shared some of his vigorous summer with us, who had shared his happiness under some monsoon showers without any fear, who had built his own library for us, and many more. Probably he had the power to be whatever he wanted, but never misused. His and only his war against gender was just an example.We forget things very quickly, but maybe we will be able to recognize the face in a placard of a big wall, or we will join to sing, to speech about his peaceful death in a big stage, and probably we won’t be able to do more than that, but maybe a soul in the heavens will still be suffering with tears, as he dreamt more for us, I am sure. Probably it was not the right time to leave, or probably it was, but when death smiles at us,what we could only do is, a smile back, and that exactly what he did.

Flying like a bird

From my childhood to the end of college ,very few paths look smooth.Probably because I demand too much to the situation. The first day in my school, my parent gave me 1/2 rupee to have some food at break time and warned me 5 times not to lose the penny. I had no idea how much I could buy with that single penny. So I was also a bit nervous and gave a bit more care on this. The bell rang,everybody was busy to have something from the road side shop. I was roaming around the shop and trying to figure out the tasty but affordable foods. If anything goes wrong, Boys might laugh at me so I was scaring to ask the price to them. Instead I stood on a line and listening the conversation between the vendor and boys carefully. But nobody was asking about the price.They were just paying off, taking the food and disappearing like never existed. Shop man also not complaining. How can they remember the price of all foods? I couldn't even remember whether the word 'sentence' ends with ‘ce’ or ‘se’. What would you like to buy? The shop man screamed.I started asking prices to him. After asking two or three. Again the sound. How much do you have in your pocket? He said through his red  dirty gritted teeth. Nothing in my pocket, I have 1/2 rupee in my hand, I said.He snatched it and gave me something wrapped in a paper. I felt nervous because by then everybody behind me started murmuring. I took the paper cartoon promptly and asked the shop man,how much is left?? Nothing, he said. I was not very happy with a paper carton. So standing over there and asking for an alternative without knowing anything about it. Then the time came. He again snatched the packet and gave me a penny. I was happy but suddenly thought this penny was not mine. It was a dirty one. So I asked for mine. Then he came beside me and asked me. Do you know where I work? I said no. He said I work in PWD and I bury boys like you under the streets. My legs were slipping, thinking that a dead child is there down the road. I just ran form him and never visited the shop again in my childhood.When I reached in the class, I noticed that I had lost the penny. School life’s over, College life begins but still I can't help myself from demanding much in every moment of my life. In a silent exam hall when everybody gets opportunity to whisper for 1 minute, I dream of opening a book.

In a college day it was raining heavily at the lunch break. I was standing there beside my class room.In a second I turned around hearing a sweet voice. Can you tell me the way of a canteen? The lady with yellow salower and light blue stole is still flying in my eyes like a bird. You are looking for a canteen? Come with me. She was scared and told me to just tell her the way, she will manage it. Later I realized that she was not a student, she came for collecting a form. Whatever she was, I wanted to go with her. I ordered two puff. One is chicken and one is veg for the lady. She didn't slip a single word from herself. I am always bad in continuing conversation if opposite one stays silent. So, I started telling about the canteen. It's a good canteen in our college. You will get everything what you want at this canteen. I said in a low voice, because what all I knew about the canteen is, it exists on the top floor of our College. She said nothing in response. I thought she is not felling comfortable in the canteen or may be with me. Why I am not a handsome guy? Why I can’t be like Leonardo dicaprio or like a hero who has at least one heroin always with him in the whole movie? I couldn't figure out what should I say. Should I propose her for a walk or should I ask for more details about her, the most beautiful lady I had ever seen. I just kept myself on silent and watching her how carefully she is giving bites in the puff. If we were boyfriend,girl friend, I could have bought her some more puffs and enjoy the way she is finishing it. She stood up and said something I could not hear. I asked to repeat and she said she will leave. My heart broke into thousand pieces. Oh! God Why I said her to repeat. Why? Why? Why don’t you take one more puff if you are hungry? The lady said, No, Thanks.I said, ok. I will pay for yours puff though later I found,I forgot my wallet in the hostel. 

She walked out. I shall never forget the conversation with her in my lifetime. Probably because very few words she said. I was finishing the puff. It was making my mouth dirty, so I cleaned it up and walked out.

One father and his loving son

This is not my story. My father loves me too, but till the semester results come. This is about one of my uncles and his son. After spending more than 5 months out of my house, I came back with an emotive face on a night. I had never been out for a long. So, pampering was more than expected. I love that day when I stepped in to my old little house, kept my luggage, sat on corridor, mom keep asking questions, and dad was asking about the journey, about the place where I stay. I feel valued that time only,because they don’t pump me down on that day. I don't buy anything for anybody when I go home, as I am bad on that. Whenever I take something for anybody at home, they don’t like it. Once I bought a black saree and planned to give one of my aunts. But when I had showed it to my parents, father shook his head with a big defeat in his face.

Next day, I was roaming around my village and talking to my neighbors. One of my uncle stays next to my house. He works outside and comes home once in 6 months. He was married with a son; named Bitthu. Bitthu had just started speaking by then. The kids who just learned to speak, ask a lot of questions, that’s why I don’t like them around. Bitthu is restless. He never stayed in a place more than 5 minutes except when he got angry. Whenever somebody stopped him from doing anything he lie down and starts throwing his legs until his mother comes and takes him in her lap. Eating is a word which never counts in Bitthu’s dictionary, because he never liked to eat. His father used to bring fruits, biscuits, and chocolates for him, but he never showed his interest on having those. His father was a bit unhappy with his child. Not because Bitthu doesn’t like to eat but Bitthu used to disturb the neighbors a lot. He used to make the hens off and break eggs which were kept for incubation; he used to hit anybody with anything if he was disturbed. No kids wanted to play with him, because everybody scared of him. His childhood partner was no one except for himself. There was not a single day when neighbors didn't complain to his parents for this boy. His parents were worried about. His parents tried everything to make him calm, cool, satisfied, but it didn’t worked. They were kind of habituated with the slangs of neighbors. One day I was talking to him, and after a while, he had tried to hit me with a fragment of brick. I wrapped him in my hand and took him away from our village and released him. He didn’t cry, instead he ran towards the opposite side of our village, I got scared, because he was running so fast, that in few minutes he could have entered in another village. Somehow I managed him and took at home. I never dared to take him with me agian. On the next day I was having my lunch with a piece of omelet and my favorite daal. Bitthu was around and came to me, and asked “what are you having?” I asked, “Why!Would you like to have”? I gave him a bit from the omelet. He took it and said,“We also have eggs”. I had given one more bit, he took it and ran. I finished my lunch and started roaming around .After that I went to my uncle’s house and seen Bitthu and his father having lunch in an open place leaving the Sun back to them. In winter under the Sun, with its slight heat, having lunch is really amazing. I knocked him saying “oi? What are you having?” Promptly he looked around and seen me and gave a Bitthuish smile and asked, “Eii? Do you have more omelets? “The word he was uttering was not as clear as I have written. But I heard him before, so I came to know his point. I said, “You want more omelet, then why didn’t you tell when I was having my lunch. I could have given you some more.” He kept himself silent. His mother was asking to take rice with a bit of fish, and he was asking questions to his mother. I got off for that day.

The next day I visited his home again at the morning, and was talking to my aunt. Suddenly,I had seen my uncle with a bag full of eggs in his hand. He was coming from market by his cycle. I shocked for a while, and asked why these many eggs? He said these are for Bitthu. Bitthu was throwing brickbats on a guava tree. He had come and hugged his father. Aunt took the market, and went off in the kitchen. Suddenly Bitthu told to me, “See, I told you na, We also have eggs.” I was standing beside the­­­m. I didn’t say anything; just smiled, and pinched in his back. Bitthu was holding one hand of his father and asking questions without waiting for a answer, and his father was giving him the answers without waiting for him to finish.